BOOK REVIEW: Harrisburg resident pours heart into new book for parents and proves ‘Ball Ain’t Life’ (2024)

C. JEMAL HORTON

CONCORD – Derrick Nix had seen enough.

Here was a man who’s spent most of his 48 years around basketball, including excelling at the college level.

Here was a man who’d built one of the most popular gyms in Cabarrus County, Concord’s Scholar Athletics, a place focused on enhancing youths’ sports experiences.

Here was a man raising four athletic children with his wife, Angel, working to guide them along a path of excellence in all the ways possible.

Yet, along the way, in his efforts to see his children – ALL children – climb as high as they possibly can, Nix was watching a youth sports era of poor choices.

Poor choices by the coaches charged to lead the children. Poor choices by the people tasked with putting on athletic events throughout the country. And, sometimes through no fault of their own, poor choices by the parents.

The system was breaking, and fast.

So in 2019, Nix, a Harrisburg resident, began to write.

He scribbled notes in noisy, packed gyms while sitting among throngs of emotional parents cheering on their kids. He wrote while taking trips that were sometimes business-related and sometimes sports-related. He wrote between coaching and running two successful business.

Finally, it was done.

And on Friday, Nix’s first book, “Ball Ain’t Life: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Grassroots Basketball,” will be released.

In “Ball Ain’t Life,” published independently, Nix uses his experiences as a player, coach and father to compose a tool box of sorts for parents. He figured they needed it.

When he first got his kids involved in sports, he certainly would have benefitted from such advice, he said.

“It was written on planes, trains and automobiles,” Nix said of his book. “I’m sort of unique in that I’ve probably traveled over a million miles in my career and just raising the kids – tournaments every weekend, traveling every weekend. I’d be sitting there, and I’d just be watching all the things going on.

“I started to take notes. I had experience talking to coaches as a player and then as a parent, and it just became a passion because there were so many mistakes I would notice that people would make, including myself. And then there were a lot of abuses I would see. Having four kids in six years, there were a lot of ways I saw that people could save money. There was so much I thought I needed to share.”

In “Ball Ain’t Life,” Nix shares insight about issues plaguing youth sports such as how to handle dealing with coaches, the issue of playing time, getting recruited, finding the right AAU team, dealing with abuse and much more.

Abuse, Nix said, is something prevalent in youth sports, and its forms run the gamut.

“There’s all different types of abuses, from sexual abuse to physical abuse to emotional abuse, and I’ve seen the lasting impacts of it,” Nix said. “I’ve seen coaches berate kids and parents sit idly by and accept it; (some coaches) fly off the handle for the sake of winning.

“I believe that abuse is significant. I’ve seen things happen on overnight trips. I’ve seen fights – just about every weekend. I’ve just seen so many things, and parents need to be aware of those things. Abuse is nothing to be taken lightly. And there’s just a better way. There’s a better way that coaches can motivate and inspire kids, and they don’t have to be all abusive about it.”

Nix, the son of an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel father (Paul) and a mother (Marjorie) who was a teacher, was extremely disciplined under his late parents’ guidance.

A strong student, he went on to become a standout point guard at UNC Greensboro. He and his teammates on the Spartans’ 1995-96 squad that won Big South Conference regular-season and tournament titles were inducted into UNCG’s Athletics Hall of Fame in 2012. Nix himself was Big South Rookie of the Year in 1994-95 and went on to score 1,000 career points.

Nix moved to Harrisburg in 2000, shortly after he and Angel were married. Their family would later include four children: oldest son Derrick Jr. (affectionately called DJ), daughters Courtney and Maria, and youngest son Sean.

All are decorated students and athletes, with his three oldest children currently competing at the Division I level.

DJ drew county and statewide fame as an all-state basketball at Cannon School, helping the Cougars to back-to-back state championships, and is a rising junior forward at Cornell University in the Ivy League.

Courtney was an all-state volleyball player at Cannon and, after spending a year on the team at Clemson, is a rising sophom*ore libero at Memphis.

Maria also was an all-state performer at Cannon as a volleyball player, helping the team to its first-ever state championship, and is a rising freshman at Butler University.

Sean is a rising sophom*ore at Cannon and a starting guard on his Team Curry AAU team, and his future seems bright as well.

Each of Nix’s children has benefited from Scholar Athletics, which he opened in 2013. The gym is closing soon, he said, but Nix assures that it’s only so he can build a new one that’s bigger and better.

In addition to Scholar Athletics, Nix owns a consulting group called the National Institute of Leadership and Organizational Development.

In between rearing his children with Angel – which included attending AAU basketball and volleyball games, going to college games and high school games, taking recruiting visits, and managing to keep the romance alive in his marriage – Nix found the time to author “Ball Ain’t Life.”

By all accounts, including the rave reviews he’s received nationally so far, the book is a must-read.

For Nix, it was a must-write.

He saw so many people pursuing basketball at all costs – academics, relationships, happiness and well-roundedness.

The sad fact, he said, is many people really see ball as life.

And, well, it ain’t.

“I just think that when you have such a narrow focus, you miss so much,” Nix said. “So many kids aren’t getting their homework because they’re playing basketball ALL the time.

“We came up with the phrase ‘Using the game.’ You’ve got to use the game; don’t let it use you. That’s my message. I want to share how you can get so much more out of this game.”

Nix’s book is 288 pages, and he acknowledges a sense of pride after having completed it, especially knowing the valuable information it can provide to parents and their children. He currently is wrapping up an audio version, which will benefit parents on the go.

Like him.

“I’m thankful, I’m relieved because I never thought I would finish it,” Nix said. “I’m really excited because parents who read this book are going to get something different. This is not convention talk; this is what works. And I know it works because I’ve done it with my kids, and I’ve done it with other peoples’ kids.

“This book was written literally on bleachers. It was written on airplanes and car rides. I said, ‘Somebody needs to know about this.’”

ORDER YOUR COPY

“Ball Ain’t Life: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Grassroots Basketball” is available on most platforms, including Amazon and Kindle. For bookings, visit info@ballaintlife.com or call 704-594-1307.